I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
