Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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