Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
