I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Randomize
