Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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