I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
