? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I could make wine with my vomit
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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