So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
