Having a random hookup so left but love u
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
