Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
