Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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