My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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