Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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