Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
