He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
