I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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