The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
