i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
