I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
did you just send me my own nude
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
