You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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