best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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