I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
