he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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