Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
