Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
