My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize