Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
