Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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