It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
