Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
