You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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