M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
