He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
