There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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