Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
