drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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