Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize