the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize