mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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