the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
