I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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