AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
