i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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