Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
