i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
