just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
