just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
