Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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