Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i've created a new STD.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
