dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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