I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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