Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
