I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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