I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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