sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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