just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
