How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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