so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
