if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize