listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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