I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
A+ Viking dick
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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