My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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