That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
