Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
