listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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