Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
