wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
