i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
