Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
