What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
